lesson 16 – amends


Making your amends is the beginning of the end of your isolation from others and God. The AMENDS acrostic will help you get started.

Admit the hurt and the harm  –  you need to once again face the hurts, resentments, and wrongs others have caused you, or wrongs that you have caused others. Holding on to resentments not only blocks your recovery but blocks God’s forgiveness in your life.  “Do not judge others, and God will not judge you; do not condemn others, and God will not condemn you; forgive others, and God will forgive you.” (Luke 6:37, GNB)

Make a list  –  go back to your inventory sheets. In column 1 you will find the list of people who you need to forgive. In column 5 you will find the list of people to whom you owe amends. Are there any others you need to add?  “Treat others as you want them to treat you.” (Luke 6:31, TLB)

Encourage one another  –  before you make your amends or offer your forgiveness to others you need to meet with your accountability partner or a sponsor. He or she will encourage you and give you a valuable objective opinion, which will ensure that your motives stay on track.  “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” (Hebrews 10:24)

Not for them  –  you need to approach those to whom you are offering your forgiveness or amends humbly, sincerely, and willingly. Do not offer excuses or attempt to justify your actions. Focus only on your part. Don’t expect anything back.  “Love your enemies and do good to them, lend and expect nothing back.” (Luke 6:35, GNB)

Do it at the right time  –  this step not only requires courage, good judgment, and willingness, but a careful sense of timing! It is key at this time to prayerfully ask Jesus Christ for His guidance and direction.  “Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:4)

Start living the promises of recovery  –  as we complete this principle, we will discover God’s gift of true freedom from the past. We will begin to find the peace and serenity that we have long been seeking. We will become ready to embrace Gods purpose for our lives.  God promises, “I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten” (Joel 2:25)

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” (Romans 12:18)

Principle 6: Evaluate all my relationships. Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me and make amends for harm I’ve done to others, except when to do so would harm them or others.

“Happy are the merciful.” (Matthew 5:7)

“Happy are the peacemakers.” (Matthew 5:9)

Step 8: We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.

“Do to others as you would have them do to you.” (Luke 6:31)

Principle 6a Prayer

Dear God, I pray for willingness – willingness to evaluate all my past and current relationships. Please show me the people who I have hurt, and help me become willing to offer my amends to them. Also, God, give me Your strength to become willing to offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me. I pray for Your perfect timing for taking the action Principle 6 calls for. I ask all these things in Your Son’s name, Amen

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